PEEP SHOW

Wardrobe malfunctions don’t just happen to the likes of Anne Curtis or Janet Jackson. Whether you are young, old, boy, girl, celebrity or not, this unfortunate and most of the time embarrassing ordeal happens to everyone. As a matter of fact, I just had one. No, I was not performing vigorously onstage amidst hundreds of screaming fans nor was I aimlessly unwinding by the beach. However, the madlang people were there to witness it. No, I was not on Showtime. Stop guessing! Here’s how it happened...

Before going home, I stopped by the school’s restroom to take a leak. Then, I headed out of the campus and after a good 10 minute walk from Mapua and through the historical streets of Intramuros, I arrived at the loading station in front of the Manila City hall. I also waited for the Makati/ Ayala bound bus for about 15 minutes. I boarded the bus and as I sat down, my wide-open fly greeted me inelegantly.

Oh, crap! Did I just march around the heart of Manila with my zipper all the way down? My goodness! Did I just expose my junk and tighty whities out on public? I cannot believe how I didn’t notice it. In the span of 25 minutes, people may have presumed that I was a pervert; walking around giving everyone a peep show.

Down on One Knee

Growing up I never really liked sports and sports never loved me back. Yes, i do enjoy the occasional badminton games but other than that, sports and I don't really jive.

You'll be amazed how this scrawny string bean kid survived all P.E. classes. I myself can't believe how I managed to get a grade high enough to make Usain Bolt, Yao Ming and even Manny Pacquiao proud.

Walking and running serve as my main forms of exercise. Sometimes I also ride the bike.

Our family recently had an out of town trip. On that trip, one of our bonding activities was cycling. We all enjoyed riding our bikes while a stunning view of the coastline served as the backdrop.

Then, something horrible happened. Don't worry, there were no tsunamis or some sort of natural calamity. I just got into an accident. Nothing major but very painful to say the least.

While I was riding my bike, a toddler passed by in front of me. My first instinct was to avoid him and that I did. I used the left brake -terrible move- prompting the front wheel to abruptly stop while the other went on. Like a flying torpedo, I flew forward and fell off the bike.

As gravity pulled me closer to the rough and gritty ground, the TV commercial wherein children started ridiculing another kid whom they called lampayatot, replayed in my mind over and over again.

Everything happened so fast. Next thing I knew, the toddler's father was helping me stand up after that catastrophic doom. I thanked him and decided to sit along the pavement. As I sat down and waited for my family members who were happily frolicking at a distance, my badly bruised left knee came into sight. Moments later, as the ocean breeze blew in, I started feeling the pain. Excruciating... Agonizing.... Unbearable pain! It was even more painful than the anti-acne facial treatment that I had the night before.

Now, I can't walk straight nor run. I have to limp my way to every destination. Climbing several flights of stairs is torture. I have to be on guard or else something or someone might crash into the open wound. Also, wearing shorts is highly recommended since it prevents the abrasion from colliding with the fabric.

For the mean time, I can't take long walks and engage in running activities. Also, I won't be riding the bicycle. I suppose mind exercises are still available.

Who should be ashamed?

I just went for an afternoon stroll at Cash and Carry mall. I do this to get rid of boredom and to enjoy the fully air-conditioned ambiance that our apartment cannot provide.

As I passed by Red Ribbon, I came across with a 50 or 60 something year old Chinese businessman who pompously strutted his way along the mall’s lengthy hallway. He wore a pinstriped long-sleeved polo shirt and pastel colored slacks. He also paired it with several chain necklaces and a...

Oh no he didn’t. But YES, he did! I looked down and definitely, we were both sporting the exact Vans classic navy blue slip-on shoes. If there were any fashion police around the perimeter, we would have been fined for stealing one’s look from the other.

Who should be ashamed?
Has my style shifted towards the grandpa direction? Or is he going through a rough path of trying to look young and hip while ageing?

So long, Farewell Auf Weidersehen, Goodbye!

After 17 years of bringing joy, sadness, excitement, drama, horror and sheer laughter, our beloved 14-inch old school Hitachi television set finally bid farewell. He will surely be missed.

As he crosses the great beyond and probably join its creator, we are in deep mourning as we send off its remains. Despite not knowing the exact cause of its dismay, we have found acceptance in our hearts due to its relatively old age.

When my late grandfather and aunt arrived here in Manila, one of their first purchases was this boxy fellow. From 1994 up to the present, this appliance provided total entertainment to everyone. It went along as they moved to different apartments.

Whenever my brothers and I went to Manila for a visit or a short vacation, this TV set alleviated our boredom. It served a hodgepodge of programs ranging from cartoons, reality and variety shows to all-time movie classics.

And when I moved in with my aunt as I studied for college, this TV became one of my companions who relentlessly shared stories of happiness, sorrow and success. It showed me the world without having to pay any plane tickets. It introduced me to various cultures, places and events. It also shared a glimpse of the universe minus the uncomfortable suit worn by astronauts. It practically brought information in mammoth proportions.

Its final struggle began several months before the end of 2010. And as 2011 ushered in, our beloved TV took its long overdue rest.

As I post this blog, my aunt and I are off to buy a new television set. Nothing fancy or excessively priced. A simple TV set that could continue on the legacy of providing uninterrupted entertainment will do.

So long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen, Goodbye!

photo courtesy of Andrew Leipzig